The strange thing about medicine… You’d think that “prestige” would be tied to how well you care for patients, how few complications you have, or how many people would recommend your services to others. But really, like any other academic field, it’s all about the research. I have to say, until this past January, I never thought that I would be taking a year off to do research. I had always been a “straight-through” kind of girl (there’s probably a dirty joke in there somewhere), and by that I mean, I entered college right out of high school, entered med school right out of college, and didn’t take any breaks in between. Maybe it’s because everyone always calls it a “year off,” as if you’re taking a break from life so you can bum around on your ass for a year, but I always felt like I didn’t have the time. Fast forward the better part of a year, and now I’ve been lab-bound for almost 3 months. Go figure.
Whoever thought that a med student such as myself would be qualified to work in a basic science lab was probably mistaken. Of course, I could have opted for the Excel-monkey route and signed up to do clinical research, but sitting in a cubicle all day was exactly the kind of the work that I was trying to avoid by going to medical school. My “project” so far has felt like one long string of mistakes, set-backs, and dumb moments on my part. I was supposed to get around to animal studies, but so far, I’ve just been muddling my way through cell culture. But I’m learning, right? And what an expert I’ve become at the art of pipetting fluid volumes, small and large! Except that I really hope that I’ll pull it all together in time to have a thesis (and hopefully a few publications) by the end of this thing. And impress my professor somehow. Who happens to be chief of the-amazing-field-of-medicine-that-I-want-to-go-into. Who I’m pretty sure doesn’t even know my name at this point. Who I would really love to get a glowing recommendation letter from in a year’s time. I see her once a week at lab meeting, where my role is usually to say an apologetic sentence or two about how I’m still failing at doing the thing I thought I would have had done by now. She intimidates me (though really, I’ve gotten every indication that she is, in fact, actually very nice).
Anyway, back to what I talking about before. Lab work is quite a change of pace from 3rd year. A few months ago, I was regularly working 60-80 hour weeks. Now, I think 30 hours would be a generous estimate. In theory, I can waltz in whenever I want and leave whenever my work for the day is finished. And my “work for the day” usually takes no more than 3-4 hours. Apparently you can’t prod cells into growing any faster than they want to. I’m enjoying the break. Except for the part where, probably out of residual 3rd year guilt, I feel the need to stay and sit in my office after my “work” is done because, really, 1:00pm is much to early to go home. Of course, I rarely do anything more useful than mindlessly browsing the internet when I do this. But I’m there, so it should count for something, dammit!
So far, I’ve realized two things about myself. The first is that I’d rather work the long hours, as long as I’m not sitting around bored for any length of time. The second is that I never would have made it in grad school. By the way, I never realized how true PhD Comics were until now.